First blog post

I started this blog because I want to share my perspective to the world and everyone in it. I don’t really know how to begin and where to begin, but I still do it anyway. 
Kudos, Cruel World! 
-aian.

“stand up with poise because you know what you wanna do, and build yourself a platform, and show them what you got”

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What most people don’t know about me:

I’m a crazy person and I’m an open book but there are things people don’t know about me.

What most people don’t know about me:

  1. I really like arranging things orderly. 
  2. I’m dense at defending my side.
  3. I’m changing answers to past questions so I’m really not a good witness (sometimes when I’m on panic mode)
  4. I understand things very well, but if I don’t like them, I counterattack.
  5. I don’t hold grudges for long.
  6. An act of rage is sometimes to hide embarrassment.
  7. I have a serious emotional problem. 
  8. I have asthma and a emotional disorder called BPD, but I’m tryna overcome it.
  9. I’m really sweet and caring person, but I don’t like showing them.
  10. I’m tactless and insensitive, and I’m impulsive.
  11. I find it hard keeping secrets from others so I’m likely to give every detail I can come up with to the people engaging to me.

A Book Review: The Peculiar’s Tale

Just wanna share one of my favorite books. [Filipino]

Those who are reading Wattpad might be familiar with ‘The Peculiar’s Tale’ Jill Morie’s adventure to Memoire. So, I wanna brief and share how good this book is. 

The Peculiar’s Tale is about a girl named Jill Morie who has a power to see an individual’s future by just staring at their eyes. It all started when an accident happened two years ago. She decided not to interfere with the fate of the human beings, but she made some mistake. Later she realized they were many of them, and she’s being hunted by an institution called ‘Memoire’ to be a part of their plan to conquer the world. She made friends and accomplices throughout her hiding and found much more greater secrets than she could ever know. 

I like its storytelling, straightforwarded and it focuses on it’s main idea, the real deal with life. There is one character I liked the most. Jing Rosca, a girl with telekinesis power, the most powerful telekinetic in her times (XD) I like how she can act truly as herself and her character’s realistic. Well, the characters in this book is flawed just as much as in non-fantasy genre. Not because they have powers, doesn’t mean they are perfect. Envy, insecurity, ego, pride, power to control. They are just the same people you could meet, but they’re more dangerous. 

You won’t miss a chapter where you won’t be guessing. Author AnakNiRizal always give cliffhangers and something to make you feel excited. Every word is worth to read! My favorite part would be when (SPOILER ALERT!!) Jing Rosca part the sea just like Moses. They literally cross the sea! Okay I’ll stop from here.

The book is full of mysterious hints that would make you believe someone could read your mind and then later erase your memories.  A real page-turner!

If I would rate it, it’s 10/10! (Not biased)

-aian. 15:29, 04-21-17

Repugnance

Have you ever felt a strong feeling of dislike to someone who doesn’t even laid an eye on you? Well for those who had, just stop. Stop, it’s affecting the economy state. 

Cowards are those who hide behind internet, subtweeting, posting about someone who wouldn’t even dare to tag the person they’re referring to. Weaklings only try to dirt someone’s nice laundry. 

I don’t know why some people need to tell another their hatred for somebody knowing it could circle around the group. It’s unprofessional and childish. Usually girls. Girls who hate other girls because of jealousy, insecurity and envy. Face it. You will never become like her and be accepted like her if you continue hating her. Some things you just need to leave on the wind. 

-aian.

Sometimes, Love is about letting go

Letting go is not an easy task, when smiling feels like I must wear this lonely mask…

As what is stated in MYMP’s Set you free, it is not easy to let someone go when you spent your days with them and already had plan for what is ahead, not knowing that will be the last. 

In love, you will always feel pain no matter how much you try to avoid it. It’s automatic when you speak love, pain will become the next outcome because it’s not real love if you don’t feel pain at all. 

Let go those who need to be let go. There are many ‘why’s’ on letting someone go. But there are reasons why you need to and you’ll stop asking questions. 

  1. Why would I let him go?
  • He’s fallen out of love. You need to stop holding on to something who releases his grip. 
  • You’re looking desperate. Don’t always run after someone who broke you. 
  • Your lonely life would be more lonely if you keep doing the same torture to your self. Have self-respect.
  • You need not to focus on one person. There are others who would try to help you move on and you will be more free with them. 
  • You are strong. No one needs someone who doesn’t need them. 

Even if pain is inevitable, you have a choice to stop the cause of what you are feeling. You don’t need to get drown on something called relationship if you can actually swim through the little passageway called moving on.

-aian.

Sky Life

I know why they like Sky. There are similar things related to sky and people. God both invented it and he placed it above so that we would always be reminded that whatever comes into your life, like the sky, it would turn out okay in the end. 

Like the sky, Life is bright and colorful if you appreciate it. But the hour will come when you need to experience some dark days, that’s the night sky. If you look closer, dark days aren’t always scary and terrible. You’re not seeing it, but there’s something behind those dark days which is going to shape you. It has a possible outcome. And in the night sky, there are stars to guide you. A polaris to lead you on your way home.

You cry, just like the skies, when it feels like you need to lessen your baggage. No one would hate you for crying a little, you’re not weak just because you cry. You are weaker if you don’t know how to cry and how to be weak. 

Scream, just how the sky screams when having thunders and storms. If you’re so full of it, you need to just let go. There are many ways to ease the pain and one of them is screaming, it will soften your heart if you blurt out what you want without thinking about the world. You need not to notice everyone in the room so that they will notice you too. You are your own unique self. 

And like the skies, it will get better as the days go by. 

-aian.

Evolution of feelings

I started liking him as a chatmate. He’s not as handsome as many other boys in the planet but he is something my heart picked. 

It all started with a little crush on someone because of their looks and physical appearance and society state. But when you truly see through them, you will disregard everything. You will fall for their attitudes at first, you will love them for being them. But later I realized it is not just that. It’s a bonus if you could have everything that was told. But the real love is you accept them for who they are. You love their existence and even if they change, you will not stop loving them because what he is to you is deeply buried inside your being. 

He is something. He is a paradox. A contradictory person whom I love. I don’t know when I started liking this guy so much. I always thought the first time he approached me, I was just imagining things and I should need to cut loose on this imaginary scene. But months later, I found myself crying and head-over-heels into that guy. 

Many struggles came into us but I held a tight grip on our relationship. I told my self I will not lose him again. I knew we were deeply in love with each other, and I believe it.

Idon’t know how you can miss someone so hard that you are thinking about them 24/7 and wondering if they feel the same. Distance is not an issue but faith. You wouldn’t know what’s really going on if you’re aren’t there by your side. 

Jealousy is a sign of weak faith, but no one could stop that. Everyone become jealous of someone. I am a participant to envy those girls and throw a pity at myself. Maybe I am something, but I’m really not certain if I could be contented with what I am.

But people, keep improving yourself but don’t mind what others may say. 

-aian.

Into Praising Serialsleeper

Okay, so I just wanna share this to everyone.

I have this one favorite author. She never failed to amaze me. She knows me and I feel like I’m a naughty kid to her now. We’re almost close, well, her readers are like family, and our fandom is a family. She’s Serialsleeper, and she’s the most clever author I’ve ever known.

She’s from Wattpad. I don’t know when I actually joined Wattpad because it’s real long time ago, somewhen in 2011 or first quarter of 2012. Serialsleeper joined in September 2012. I’m not into mystery that time. I discovered her on the late 2013, but I still don’t care. Then 2014, I became addicted with Wattpad, I saw her again and I was a fan eversince. 2015 came and it all just came like a flash, I found myself digging into her stories, her message board and her identity. I became almost obssessed in trying to make friends with my only favorite author. I searched everything connected to her that I was acting like a creepy stalker but actually no. I’m just curious with her face because she never showed us. 2016 when I saw her, and was really joyed! 

I’m always helping her reply on her message board because I can see she’s busy with studies and everything. Then one day she PM’ed me which made me push to do what I’m doing, but one day I felt horrible she’s like telling me to pause. Oh, and PS, she greeted me on my birthday!!!! 

That was the very first time I felt so down just because of a message 😦 I tried convincing myself it was just that. But that time, I couldn’t stop, yet I tried. I tried to not bother her. I actually cried everytime I remember that moment. I just felt horrible, and I feel like I’m an attention seeker. Maybe I am, I’m just stupid to not notice it. 

We lost internet connection wahahaha. And later, I tried picking up where I left off. I limited myself into thinking if she would be glad or not if i do this or that. I tried giving her space. I was no longer replying thanks to her readers because I know she wanted to thank them by herself and I hate myself for being so bad at me. 

I still miss her and the bond I once thought we shared. I will write a new post again about her stories! Pikaboo!

*Sabog florwaks ft. Glitter and tatang and jojo*

-aian. 13:02, 04-21-17

An Introduction?

I don’t know where this is headed but I’ll still write anyway. 

Today my boyfriend’s in Vigan, 9 hours away from where I am. It’s vacation, and I’m boring to death. I wanna go out of town but I’m broke. I’m just chilling in this couch like a potato while writing something boring and reading something not really boring. My life’s a bore. No thrill. Chill. 

So yeah, I started this blog because I want to publish my nothingness. I’ve got many drafts- more than 500- but someone’s been deleting them, so I would want to create a simple blog like this so no one could ever barge in. 

I’m a frustrated writer. I write because I’m bored, because something came into my mind, and mostly because I want this and that to happen to me but it’s purely fictional so I write them instead. I got really obssessed with writing eversince I had friends, and those whom I want to befriend but they’re too popular to even look at me. I’m just a typical girl but a really crazy one, and impulsive. I had BPD, an emotional disorder. So, writing became my other world, because I can be who I wanna be when I’m writing. I can do what I want to do, and I can manipulate how I want things to happen. In short, I’m escaping my boring life by using the fictional world. 

I am into music. I like music so much! I could actually build a life with just music inside because it’s my whole existence. Ever since a baby, I can remember me playing with my toys while listening to my uncle’s speaker. He introduced me to every rock band he could, then everyone on my family influenced me. My cousins and I, our bonding is jamming, singing, and composing songs. I’m actually rooting for an own band. It’s almost coming, I can feel it. Then, my boyfriend came, he doesn’t want me in the band because he’s jealous of the guys inside it. Actually, ‘Halocautic’ is actually my suggested name for the band. The members are from my section, and I’m really close with them. We jammed once, and it felt good. I’m still wishing for it to prolong, though. 

One thing, Movies. I’m addicted in watching movies and TV series! I just downloaded iFlix yesterday, and started watching Glee. Hahaha. American Series are my pills. One of these days I will be posting a plan to watch. I’m trying to approach Kdrama, because they’re really good, but I cannot complete one. Movies are one of the reason why I am still breathing, an exaggeration but the truth. 

I’m a grade 10 student this coming school year. I don’t really want to end junior higschool. My best friends, my classmates and friends, my boyfriend, I don’t wanna be away from them, even if we need to. I can’t accept we’ll be needing separation. 

So, I’ve got no things to say. That’s all. 

Kudos to the world, xoxo

-aian. 12:34 pht , 04/21/17